86: Where Paradise resides

And so, we have come to the end of 86. I must say, what a journey this has been for me. Not just the show itself, but I have grown as a person watching it. I know that sounds cheesy as hell, but the truth is, I am so used to being a passive consumer, almost to a point of being an avid addict in my teenage years, mindlessly consuming Youtube and livestreams even till the point where I sometimes feel anxiety. And I still am doing so, but these past three months of watching 86 has changed me. I have vigorously enveloped myself around this show, analyzing every single detail it offers, writing essays that I am proud of and even learning a new skill with my recent video essay. I don't even feel bad for watching its episodes over and over again, an action that I would usually berate myself for wasting precious time. This is because with every re-watch, I dissect, I learn, I create -- I vent. Being a massive introvert, I have never had many friends in which I can share my excitement of anime with. So doing these essays is my way to put out all my emotions, to make something tangible out of it and to be proud of it, not just of my writing but of these emotions I hold in me. So thank you, 86. 

Without further ado, this will probably be my longest and densest essay to date. So long that I begun writing this essay all the way back on Wednesday and so dense I literally had to split it up into two parts like some shitty movie franchise. So buckle up buckaroos, I hope you have a nice cup of coffee by your side as well, cause I'm about to take you on a journey to paradise.

P.S: The following points I will make is not directly relevant, but is still loosely build upon many ideas that is established in the first eight episodes of the show. I know its kinda stacking up at this point, but please at least give my third essay on 'staging' a read as that essay is meant to be a build up for this one and I will be referencing a lot of it without going too much into its details to be succinct. (First and second are encouraged as context-flavor but not necessary) 

How 86 uses Dramatic irony (Episode 1-3): https://zxcaderu.blogspot.com/2021/05/86-have-you-ever-heard-of-my-friend.html

When do ideals become more than empty words (Episode 1-7): https://zxcaderu.blogspot.com/2021/05/86-when-do-ideals-become-more-than.html

How 86 uses staging (Episode 7-8): https://zxcaderu.blogspot.com/2021/06/86-staging-depression-since-2021.html

Journey to Paradise

No, I don't mean that paradise, Eren... Go back to your basement! The paradise I do mean is what our Spearheads have dubbed many times as their "final destination". While it may euphemistically sound like the place we all visit at the end of our lives, I can assure you that the Spearheads themselves aren't suicidal though. What they mean is simple: They want freedom. (Goddamnit, I swear I am not making these references on purpose) Freedom from the Republic, freedom from the Legion and even freedom from themselves and their traumas. That is the main reason why they chose to fight as Raiden has stated.

*Ping pong* Question time: 

Out of Annette, Lena and the Spearheads, have you ever thought about which one is the most free?

Well I have, and I am sure even if you haven't, you can subconsciously piece together the answer in your heart right now. The order being from the least free to the freest: Annette, Lena and then the Spearheads. Why is that? Why can your heart grasp that? Well I've actually already hinted at that answer in my last essay on staging.

Annette is someone who is beaten down into the ground by society. The social stereotypes first victimized her when she was friends with Shin. She was mocked for it, chastised for associating with the "colored" as they said. In fact, that association might even have seeped into the present. After all, why are all of Annette's partners either younger or older than her? Maybe it has something to do with how people her age knew about such an association and has since treated her as itself a "colored". Her tragedy doesn't even end there. Her father took her own life, again for reasons related to a hair's color. As a child, it must be mind-boggling why her father abandoned his own flesh and blood for some other stranger. And thus, this will be the first chain tying her down -- The system.

Even though the system has done enough to throw her life into disarray. It is however the second chain that would ultimately break her -- Guilt. She hurled racial slurs at Shin, dancing to the tune of the system. For that she felt guilt even till this day, only repeating these same words to herself over and over again like a broken metronome: "Nothing I do matters. Caring would just get me hurt." And it must be guilt, for why else would she feel her heart being torn apart just by spending time with Lena?

She did try to make amends though; Taking up his dad's research and even considering saving the Undertaker. "I might have been able to save him, if nobody else," she thought to herself. But even that was short-lived. For once again her first set of chains, the system, didn't even want to grant her that otherwise cathartic reunion, and all because someone decided that they didn't want an animal in their car. So when even the little faith you harbored in yourself is mocked, what does that turn into? Immense guilt. 

Guilt, if defined, is the moral emotion that occurs when someone realizes that they have compromised in their moral standards and bear significant responsibility for such a violation.

Annette thus tried to quell that guilt by first trying to trivialize her own moral standards, telling herself that: "There's pudding here, and not there." But if all she really did care about is pudding, then she herself should realize that she wouldn't even have taken up her father's experimentations to begin with.

And when that first step fails and she realizes she couldn't change herself. Then the next step would be to change others, to push away her sense of responsibility onto other people. And it's simple; Make it seem as if someone else is more guilty than you, more immoral than you. Then you spit venom on them even if your face had to carry ten shades of regret and your voice had to carry fifty shades of shame.

Annette isn't free because she is plagued by two things, the system around her and her own guilt inside her. Lena is similar, albeit being just slightly better. Lena is chained by the system, plagued by a crippling sense of responsibility towards the violation of human rights. But one thing she does have that Annette doesn't, is to not lose track of her own moral standards. The next statement I will be making will be extremely shocking to you as the show has been real subtle about this but actually -- Lena is a parallel to Saint Magnolia!

Oh, what? Is being caked by symbolic gold light, standing beside the statue, glorifying it while being the only damn human in the country to care about its ideals not subtle enough for you? I guess not, huh? And here I thought I was making a pretty underrated observation. Well needless to say, moral standards is probably the only thing that Lena has for her, and probably the one thing that is extremely tragic as well. Imagine having your character's faith be min-maxed and yet only ever having the luck to roll 1 for your die; It's like you were destined to hate yourself.

I don't want to discourage my girl though, she does try. In fact, she tries very hard. And in episode 9, she might have even succeeded. Boom! Comes the mortar shells, as it rains from the heavens and strikes down her foes. She, for the first time since becoming a handler, actually helped the Spearheads in a tangible way by saving their lives. She, for the first time since joining the Spearheads, actually showcased her leadership and planning capabilities by bitch-slapping Shin's brother. And she, for the first time since her debut in 86, won the hearts of many simps by saying tsundere-shit like "It's not like I saved your life for you or anything, baka." That, is what me and the boys down by the hood call, a "W". Even the writers acknowledged her hustle. Take a look at this scene for example. 

Being able to proudly declare herself as the Spearhead's handler, being the butt of the joke (and this time in an actually sweet manner) and even receiving some genuine gratitude from the members. It was like all those moments of dramatic irony she had to suffer for the past 9 episodes were justified. And talking about dramatic irony, care to fangirl over those cute lil' chibi faces she drew? Remember how the entire conflict in the first three episodes of 86 was built upon her being unable to read the Spearheads' expressions. Well, in this scene those expressions were represented perfectly by those drawings, with each and every word that they said seemingly delivered from those pieces of paper to begin with; Theo's sarcasm being represented with his signature frown, Raiden's teasing being represented by his smirk, Kurena's jab being represented by playfulness, Anju's with her gentle smile and Shin with his unwavering stoicism. It was as if the Spearheads was there in that room with her, laughing and poking fun at her, something that Lena has wanted for a very long time. Now, I can even say chibi faces hold symbolic value in the first time in anime history. God, I love this show. 

So that's it right? Lena has achieved her long time goal and has finally helped and gained the respect of the people she cares the most about. Is that room that she is in there, paradise? Well, hold that thought my friend. Before we tackle that climatic scene, we must first discuss our number 1 freest boy in the chat. And this time, I am not talking about the Yeager.

The Spearhead squadron is built different. When talking about the system, I can argue that they are basically dogs on leashes meant to be the disposal ammunition of their masters. But the end of episode 8 shines a different light.

Gold light beaming down on them. But not the faux gold of the alba's but instead the warm radiance of the sun. Natural as compared to the artificial lighting of the Alba; Dignified, akin to the fireworks that have brought peace to their fallen souls. Different from fireworks however, as this golden flash is much more radiant and is much more ever-lasting. It even cleared up the rain, like some divine being knew of their departure and welcomed them as such. This is not the light used to signify some dogs on leashes, this is a light used to signify someone eternal. And honestly, it's fitting. The Spearhead squadron has cracked the code. By wholeheartedly believing that Shin will carry on their souls, they no longer fear death. By wholeheartedly believing that even in death will they still reach their final destination, they have long transcended their own mortality. So what if the system and the Republic throws them off into Legion territory and orders them to die? Jokes on them. The Spearheads want that shit. They are heading in not on the whims of others but to lay Shin's brother to rest. They are heading in not to die, but to head to where paradise is, beyond the unknown land. Dogs they can be, but chained they are not.

The other thing that kept them from reaching paradise is something more insidious -- Guilt. Shin for the longest of time has blamed himself for his brother's demise. But even that shouldn't be compared to the petty guilt of Annette and Lena. Shin's guilt is all about how he left his brother to die with negative feelings at heart, which is why when he was strangled, his words were not "forgive me brother": "But my brother still hasn't forgiven me". There is a difference; One places emphasize on himself while the other prioritizes his brother. Shin is desperate to fix the happy memories of his brother after all. This is why he found so much joy knowing that Lena has happy memories of him and shares in them. And this is also why he seeks to rid of the blotches that mars his brother's image, letting his brother live on untainted inside him. Now, he can carry on his brother's soul to the final destination.

Shin's guilt may be impressionistic, but it must be emphasized that it is not egotistic like his other two counterparts. Shin then proceeds to do just that, like the best boy that he is, and clears his brother's name. He is now guilt-free, and has a new path beyond, a passage to paradise itself. And thus, they march onwards. And now, we can finally talk about the scene every one and their grandmother has been jerking themselves off to since two weeks ago -- The climax of episode 9.

Sorry it took so long. In fact, I feel so bad that I have gone ahead to do something I have never done before which is to do a music-focused analysis. I'll have to confess, this Ost is probably my favorite from Hiroyuki Sawano thus far, and I'm not just talking about 86. I'm talking about anime. So I've broken it down into three distinct parts. Take note though that I am not in any form musically-inclined nor knowledgeable. I am but a tone-deaf boy who just loves music. Thus, take this with the highest grain of salt and for those musically-inclined people, do call me out on my bullshit if I got the instruments wrong.

Lena's victory was false hope, and she soon begun realizing this when the Spearheads begun marching into the unknown territory, away from her. A wispy piano plays, just as if the Spearheads would soon be whisked; Their melody is constantly rising, as if they are ascending some unknown stairs into some higher plane. Lena thus cries out, both with her violin and with her hand, reaching out into the screen begging for them to: "Not leave her behind". And when she realizes that her cries were being ignored, she did the only thing she could muster. She ran, in some vague direction to the east where she knew the Spearheads were but never where. In her dash she ran past Annette. Annette has no reasons to give chase of course, but symbolically speaking she couldn't give chase anyway. After all, she was still weighed down by trauma, chained to her seat by her own guilt. 

Lena is different. She has already broken the shackles of her own guilt, lived up to her own moral standards and even dealt a dent to the system with her foul plays. Lena is unchained now, free to give chase after the Spearheads. This may be the reason why for a moment in time, Lena actually caught up with the Spearheads in a sense; With the Spearheads' melody being echoed out beat by beat by Lena's orchestra strings. Sadly though, that may be the only moment of harmonization found in this cruel departure.

As Lena falters, the melody changes, first by Spearheads' piano; It draws a rising curve, almost describing a beautiful story of meetings and goodbyes. But Lena couldn't comprehend that. Her melody curves but haphazardly, swirling up and down as if her head is spinning round and about. Little did she know that she has been running away from the gold sun too, trying to break free from all the hypocrisy that chains her down. But too little too late, she stumbles and the horns kick in. Triumphant horns, horns that even sought to punctuate the cries of Lena's strings, stomping on to the drums of the Spearheads' march. And when silence kicks in, only a lonely piano remains, as realization finally dawns upon Lena. Only Shin awaits --

"We are going on ahead, Major". A torch that once represented Shin's role as a reaper, Shin's role of carrying on the memories of others, were now passed to none other than Lena herself. Now, she carries that responsibility of remembering them, of carrying on their souls. And thus as the para-raid cuts off, Shin and the Spearhead squadron is no more. They continue marching on and on, with the drums being the main focal instrument now. And as the horns and the trumpet reinforces their march into paradise, Lena is finally forced to swallow the truth. A gust of the spider lilies; The only thing that is as loud as the Spearheads' march now is Lena's own cries as she releases and bursts out into tears, mourning alongside the swells of her strings, dwelling upon her own powerlessness. We see the Spearheads, taking flight in the form of swallows, soaring into the sky. If Lena could only run, then they who have completely defeated the system could fly; Away from the golden sun that have chained them for far too long, and into the night sky where they truly belong. And as the music finally fades, so too do they fade out, becoming one with what must be the freest entity in the universe -- The stars that they love.

I have always thought that Hiroyuki Sawano is cool. But if I may, one of my biggest criticism of his sound tracks is that they are often too overpowering. So much so that if you put it into a scene in an anime, it no longer becomes an accompaniment but a mere slide show supporting "Sawano's music". This OST though shows me just how powerful it can be when a man of his caliber crafts his song for the very purpose of telling its story; Every melody reflects the characters' thoughts, every new instrument empowers the characters' emotions. They even reflect the conflict itself; Lena's strings begging the Spearheads to stay contesting against their horns & drums that only propels them forward. It is as if the music is screaming what the characters themselves screamed. I shouldn't just attribute it all to Sawano though, but to the sound director as well, Aketagawa Jin. He is probably the man responsible for stitching and coordinating every beat of the song to every beat of the scene. This is what I call true mastery of the anime medium; When everything clicks and you are just left flabbergasted, unsure of what these emotions you feel are, yet certain that these emotions are what makes everything more beautiful. 

And I really could insert a very cheesy line here saying how we have entered paradise alongside the Spearhead squadron, but I'll spare you from that. The truth is, we are only half-way done with this essay. Told you it will be long. So Spearhead squadron has finally entered paradise, but I feel like we have been neglecting to answer an even bigger question to begin with -- What is paradise?

Between Heaven and Earth

Flower fields of blue and white, sprawling out underneath the blue sky; Open ponds and lakes that invites the Spearheads to rehydrate and clean themselves; A terrestrial plane ridden of all human life, lest the lives of simpler creatures that roam around freely. Even the stone jungles that once disturbed this quiet garden has been reclaimed by mother nature itself, with plants blooming off of concrete structures. In this fantastical place, we even see the Spearheads finally being free for once. They had the time to wash themselves in hot baths, catch butterflies, fish and even enjoy the breeze outside of their cold mechanical machines. They even explored the post-apocalyptic city and for once was able to "look like ordinary kids" like Raiden observed.

Paradise, as described in religious texts, is a place known to be filled with exceptional happiness and delight, laden with pastoral imagery and often compared to the miseries of human civilization.

Notice how well that fits our setting in episode 10? While I am always careful around bringing religious observations to anime, I do believe there are enough parallels to be drawn here. After all, one of the biggest references to the religious beliefs in 86 is imprinted on the walls of the Spearhead quarters: "Welcome to the base closest to heaven". The lake that stops their advances draws a lot of parallels with the Garden of Eden as well, as the way to reach the garden is often suggested to be crossing the Persian Gulf, the Tigris and Euphrates river in Mesopotamia or it also being located at the base of Mount Ararat where Noah's Ark came to rest. Additionally, the Garden of Eden is where the story of Adam and Eve comes from, and in there they walk around naked as they were sinless. Well at the lake itself, our Spearheads took off their uniforms to wash themselves, stripping off "their clothes" and donning on robes similar to what Jesus Christ himself wore. We can even consider the method in which they reach the lake to begin with, which is by clearing their guilt and having no earthly attachments, no longer having 'sins' in other words.

"Hang on there my friend, if the Garden of Eden is only truly reached after crossing the river, then doesn't that mean that the Spearheads has not indeed reached true Paradise?"

Well, I am glad you asked, because this is where things start getting interesting. Where I believe the Spearheads are now is a limbo between Heaven and Earth, a place far beyond the reach of mortals yet just short of a place for angels. Apart from the obvious signals, such as the Legion still roaming around posing a not-so-paradise-like threat to our Spearheads, there is also this one conversation that I find significant. While looking across the lake at the Garden of Eden, Raiden asks Shin: 

"Anything you are going to regret? Any places you wanted to go, things you wanted to see?" 

The reason why the 86 are still falling short of reaching true Paradise may lie in the fact that they still hang onto mortality itself. Take for example the legion robot that pops its head up in the zoo. It's last words were "I want to go home" in which Shin then says before endings its life, "you can go home now". There is a heavy implication of souls here, whereby if souls are still trapped inside the mechanical bodies, then they can never truly be laid to rest. In fact, hasn't that been the entire concept of the black sheeps till this point? Shin has to shoot the brains of other Spearheads to make sure they don't turn into ghosts and Shin also had that entire battle with his brother just to lay him to rest. While this may borrow a little from our own meta-knowledge of heaven, to enter paradise, one must strip themselves from all mortal attachments, even if that is our own flesh and blood.

This entire conflict is well-represented in Shin himself. Throughout episode 10, Shin is almost described to be like a balloon, floating away if not grasped onto. His answer to Raiden's question about regrets is a simple "I haven't thought about it". When approaching the black tunnel, Raiden had to literally grab onto his arms to stop him from going any further. There is even a conversation not-quite-subtly describing his current state, with Raiden describing to the rest that "it feels like he has nothing left", especially after he passed on his reaper duties to Lena last episode. At this point you might even wonder if he would become a V-tuber. (This joke is only for the cultured minds to understand) Point is, Raiden clearly holds onto the concept of mortality, while Shin is on the verge of losing everything that makes him mortal. Raiden quite literally asks Shin at the zoo: "Are you going to the other side of the water alone?" 

It is also at the zoo, that we come face to face with this idea of mortality itself. Walking past the bones of perished animals, walking past the iron cages that trapped those bones, Anju would remark: "They're kind of like us," reminding themselves of their mortality as a soldier of the Republic. They even come across the robot, a symbolic representation of a trapped soul that wants to go to the other side of the lake. Did the Spearheads admire that sentiment though?

No. They looked at the robot with pity, with sadness. The Spearheads, like I said, are built different. While they no longer fear death and has transcended their own mortality, their goals may be even more ambitious than what we give them credit for. What the Spearheads want is to survive, and to fight to the bitter end. That has been their goal ever since they knew they were destined to die in the unit, ever since it was renewed in faith by Raiden's speech under the moonlight, and ever since they continued trudging forward into unknown territory. Shin brought up in that scene that "journeys like theirs usually brings them to paradise", and to that, this is how Raiden scorns: "Paradise, or heaven --

'Final destination' to the Spearheads has never been about "paradise". Those are flowery words, the epitome of virginity as Kaie once accused Lena. The Spearheads from day one till now, has always been fighting on a different battlefield all together, soaring to a place higher than heaven, marching towards a place further than paradise.

So now, we have to answer -- If paradise is but empty ideals, what do we actually fight for?

What lays beyond paradise

The Spearheads march on endlessly, with no goals to find and no end in sight. They march on. Confronting Legion one by one.

Their machines break, their last remaining armor. Their supplies dwindle, their last remaining lifeline. They even suffer injuries and are vulnerable. But they still march on. On their way, they stop by an abandoned school. 

There, they have a moment of reprieve. A moment whereby they were seemingly still in that pseudo paradise, acting like "ordinary kids". But that was far from the truth. Their roll call was more akin to one done at the end of graduating, a teacher calling out their students one last time. They break their chairs and burn their books, discarding all the things that may have symbolized them as a carefree child if they even had an opportunity to be one. To them, they were soldiers through and through now. They don't need "books that they can't read" as they said. They need fire to survive. Kurena even had a little moment where she seemingly matured, finishing up her last piece of candy.

But even then, even after everything, there will still be inevitable attachments. Being able to let go of all regrets after all, isn't mortal. There will always be "places you wanted to go, things you wanted to see". That is why for the briefest moment in time, at the slightest point where vulnerability doesn't warrant immediate death, Theo sneaked a textbook by his side. 

They continued marching on the next day once again. No goals to find, no end in sight. It is almost inevitable at this point, and is more of a question of not will, but when. And thus, it was there and then, did Shin make his first and final decision.

Like prophesized, Shin had no more places he wanted to go, no more sights he wanted to see. In fact, till this point he probably had only been marching forward because that is all he knows how to do. Thus when given the situation and the chance, he was the first who offered up his own life if it meant everything to his comrades. To him, he probably had selfishly convinced himself that they were more valuable than him. 

After all, his comrades were always so much more lively than he was. Even on their first meeting under the Sakura blossoms, they were the one who eagerly chased after shooting stars, while leaving him behind. He only ever had one goal after all and that was to free his brother, without that goal now, can his life truly hold as much value as those still chases after their youth?

Maybe he has also grown too tired. After all, for all his life it has always been his comrades who have left him behind and moved beyond the lake. He has always been the one who had to carry on their names and their memories. He has grown weary. This time, he wants to pass on that torch, to Lena and to his comrades to do the same for him.

Or maybe he wasn't thinking of any of those things. It may be unfair on my part to treat Shin's ideals so egotistically when time and time again he has proved that he has always been the most selfless one of all of them. For the past seven months, his comrades were there with him through thick and thin, and thus he wants to thank them -- Yea, let's go with that.

His comrades felt differently though. Of course they did. To them, they probably thought the exact same thing as Shin. For the past seven months, they probably suffered together and healed each other more times than what a single life is worth.

To them, Shin was the only solace they had, the reaper who will always be there to honor their souls. He was probably just like a moon to them as well, a hero who has saved their lives time and time again. For that reason, they had even marched to their graves by fighting against Shin's brother, only because they didn't want Shin to fight alone. And it was for that same reason why they didn't choose to escape when Shin gave them the opportunity. They have been through too much together. So if he dies, they die together; They die as one -- They die as the Spearheads.

Every single one of them may not make any sense, every single one of them may be idiots, but that's how it is. This is who they are.

This is the result of them marching on endlessly; They all meet their demise, one by one, till nobody is left. It must even be the show mocking them at this point. Who is to say there must be a reward after all the fighting they have been through? Who is to say there will be a light at the end of the dark tunnel they had dragged themselves through?

I said in my essays on ideals: That what makes them admirable is that they choose to fight even after everything. They choose to fight, even when they can choose the easy way out. They choose to struggle, they choose to scrape for meaning in a seemingly meaningless world, and they have continued scraping, even till their nails have fallen off and all there is is dirt.

But is that really all that is worth fighting for? Just dirt? Well, I don't believe so. In fact, the answer to my question has always been apparent since day one -- They fight for each other. 

Shin fights for Kurena, Theo, Anju and Raiden. And Kurena, Theo, Anju and Raiden fights for Shin. They fight together, and they die as one -- As the Spearhead squadron. Glory to the Spearhead squadron.

And this time, I will add a goddamn cheesy line -- The real paradise has always resided right by their side.

Legacy

Phew sorry, I got emotional there. Forgive me for we still have yet to reached the end of this essay. So now the question will probably be -- Where do we go on from here?

For Lena, she chose to visit the Spearheads' old quarters, in hopes of learning about them. She met with Lev as well, who revealed a little about himself. He is an Alba whose wife and daughter were Eighty-six. They were torn apart and now she spends the rest of his life trying to atone for their deaths by serving in the military. He even wishes to cross over to the other side of the lake just so he can meet them, silently gazing out to the same tracks the Spearheads went on their suicide mission on. To me, he closely resembles the damaged robot back in the zoo, someone who has already lost the will to fight and just wants to "go home".

Lena carried on. She walked in their footsteps and observed their way of life. From where they eat, to where they play and to where they sleep. She even found a book which contain words that the Spearheads specially left for her. And all of it, contained messages that believes that she would come "visit" them:

Raiden teases her, calling her an idiot, just like he mocked her as such when she asked for their names. What's different now though is that he had faith that Lena would come read it. 

Theo teases her, calling her a crybaby, just like how she broke down when he lashed out at her. What's different now though is that he left her a present, having faith that Lena would come receive it.

Kurena teases her, calling her a saint, just like all the times when she thought Lena was a hypocrite. What's different now though is that she had left her a cat, having faith that Lena would come adopt it.

Anju is similar as well, never ever fully trusting her. What's different now though is that she asked Lena to name the cat, having faith that Lena would take care of it.

And finally, Shin. He once thought of Lena as a mere handler, someone who couldn't help out whatsoever in the battlefield. Someone who probably stuck her nose too deep into things she couldn't handle. What's different now though, is that he has entrusted Lena with carrying on their souls, to carry them onwards to the "final destination". And he asks, having full faith in her, to leave flowers for them, to remember them.

The Spearheads had "believed in her till the very end", and thus Lena will reciprocate. Just like how the Spearheads fought for each other, now Lena will fight for them as well. This is why she is shown walking off the track, and not forward.

She will never be able to walk in the same track as the Spearhead squadron for she is just a Handler. And she will never let herself to lose the will to fight as well just like Lev who could only gaze upon the track. After all, she has a new responsibility now, she is the new reaper for the 86.

What she can do though is to carry on their legacy, with her own strength, in her own way. And thus, like the burning red sky that reflects her own unwavering will, she will continue to fight -- "Until the moment fate finally comes for me".

A Humanist Tale

So what is the story 86 wants to tell? It's a humanist tale. 

Humanism is a way of thinking and living, that emphasizes the agency of human beings. Humanism stresses the fact that we human beings are capable of changing the world. It stresses that we have the power to make a difference in our lives, both individually and collectively, without recourse to some outside force. - Leo Igwe

Despite all of their injustice done upon them, despite all the suffering they have to live through every day, the Spearhead squadron are humanists down to their very core. They believed in every step that they have the power to survive and they never once lost the will to continue fighting. They respect the equality of others as well, and they held steadfast pride that they will never stoop lower than the system that calls them 'pigs'. And even in their most dire moments, they never once relied on a higher power like faith, and only ever chose to believe in themselves and the comrades next to them.

And just like the idea of humanism, such ideals inspire as well. Lena was inspired by them, by their strength, by their selflessness, by their faith in her. And now she will carry on their legacy, as she herself has also become a humanist.

Though the Spearheads never did change the world or change their own circumstances like what humanism aspires to, they did manage to change one person though and that is Lena. That is the lasting impact they have left for themselves, for the 86, and for us the audience as well. And like the humanist believes --

A ripple is what starts a tidal wave.

See you in October.

Afterwords

Phew, I am exhausted. I think I poured every ounce of my heart and soul into writing this, which is why this essay at many times probably sounded overly emotional and unprofessional. Well, I can't help it though. This was as much of an analytical essay as a personal tribute from me to the show. I make it sound like this show is ending but to be honest, this show really is ending for me in a special way. You guys may have noticed but I am obsessed with techniques and thematic arcs. My personal philosophy nowadays is to never view a show as a whole but as a sum of its parts. Which is why it has come to absolutely baffled me on how a show has managed to draw a conclusive thematic arc not just in episode 3, but in episode 4, in episode 7, in episode 8, in episode 9, in episode 10 and now in episode 11.

How?! I am not just talking about cliffhangers. I'm talking about actual conclusive developments for the characters, for the plot, for the themes. It almost feel like I have watched 5 shows worth of ideas in just 11 fucking episodes! And that isn't even the most impressive part. The most impressive part is that they all build on top of each other, like layers on an cake and then when I just couldn't think it can get any better, it adds the cherry on top with cute blushing Lena for me to simp for.

This is another one of my personal beliefs: If a show can make you laugh, cry, angry, speechless, anxious, exasperated, hopeful, dreadful and yet still make you simp for a cute girl at the end. Then that my friend, is what a 10/10 show looks like. Well, I'll stop rambling as I probably can go on hours upon hours. So, hope you loved the show as much as me, and hope you enjoyed reading my essay as much as I enjoyed writing it.

So as my chicken friend says: Auf Wiedersehen.